Here's the reason, I think:

I feel like my friends are drifting away from me and it's my fault. I feel like I used to be really well respected, and I'm not anymore. I feel like people don't take me as seriously as they used to take me, and I'm not as nice a guy as I used to be. I think I'm giving up a lot of that just to come home and talk to you at night. I don't want to make it out like it's your fault, becuase it isn't, it's mine. I should be balancing my life more. You are, and I'm not. And when I called you and yo sounded happy, even away from me, I got that you were balancing your life and I wasn't, and every so often something sets me off that lets me know subconciously that the real world around me is falling apart, and that's my deepest fear.

It isn't your fault, it's mine, I promise. Don't feel guilty, it'll only make me feel worse. I love you so much.