Hey there, partner.

I'm sorry I talked to you so diplomatically. It was the sort of thing I played out in my head a billion times to get it just right, and I was never an actor. Just an improvisor. The exact opposite. Diplomacy is how it's been working around my house lately, trying to fix the gaping holes.

I just had a great talk with my dad, and, although there are still some bits and corners to patch up over the weeks, months and years to come with them, I can say that the gashes have been mended, and that my parents and I are ready to be a family again, and we can work on getting what we all want now. He told me that he loves me, and I told that him I love him, too. It was a big step for us both, and I feel good about that.

I can never really describe to you what it was like pacing around nervously for five, six hours, trying to tell you what I wanted to say. When I discovered us on the same page I couldn't help but let the emotions bubble up inside even though there was so much to do with my family.

I feel good about us now. Not because I'm positive that it's going to work romantically like this but because I know we're going to be honest if we feel like one of us needs someone we can see, and because I know, more than anything else in this world, that I'll always be a part of your life, and that I'll always be here to be your best friend and to help you grow. Lovers or not.

I've started every paragraph in this post with "I."

You're a wonderful kid, through and through. We're so different, you and I, but we're so compatible. And the fact of the matter is, I love you more than I could ever tell you.

You'll read the letter I gave you when you get home. I hope you know that I meant every word of what I said in it, and I always will. I need you to know that, no matter what you and I decide to do, I'm gonna think you're stellar, and I have been and will be willing to do just about anything (short of something that hurts you) to make sure that I stay in your life and that you stay in mine, whether we're romantic or just a couple of shooting-star best friends for the world to look up at.

Snorgles galore,
Nick

Hold on tight, and let me work with you. I'm holding onto you with everything I have, and you won't lose me unless you make yourself. I can't tell you enough: we can get through this if we work as a team.

It's been far too long since I've posted.

I can't wait to spend every waking minute with you, enjoy myself under the same moon, beneath the same heavens, pouring out our hearts like paint across the earth.

May we spend our lives up and never look back.

Ta'n festyr çheet orrin ooilley.