Remember when I told you about that guy in Edinburgh who told me, "In life, when in doubt, just keep moving forward"? You'll get where you need to go as long as you don't stop moving, no matter how slowly you go.

And I'll keep pushing ya along. But you can't fool me. I know you're strong.

Thank you for the forgiveness. I know you didn't mean to attack me, and I'm really sorry I took it that way. I'm glad you see how that perception altered my actions, though, and I know now that you weren't just trying to make me feel guilty. You were doing what needed to happen to move on, and I hope you know that I respect that.

Thanks so much for the post. The blogs are handy for giving each other space while still clearing up important issues. I feel a lot better after that, and I hope you do, too.

Anyway, I hope you have the most fun possible at Warped on Monday, and I hope you have as much fun as one can have on a business trip starting Tuesday. Don't forget to take pictures, and the 4th will be here before ya know it.

And as for the sorry at the end of your post? Forget about it :)

PS: don't forget to pop Riven into your compy sometime :D

One time, in Tokyo, I woke up way before Adam did. About 5am, I'd guess. Thanks a lot, jetlag.

I rolled over in my bed to take a look out the window. I opened my eyes, and all I saw was the painful burst of white; the dull ache inside your eyeballs. So I squinted tight and waited for my eyes to agree with the morning, and dragged myself out of bed.

By the time I cracked the window open, my eyes had accustomed themselves to the light and I could see the morning laying upon Tokyo. The sun cut a knife through the Tokyo's sleep. An alarm bell on a dreaming city. And I'll never forget the smell as long as I live. It was the smell of unrestrained industry like blooming flowers, and buzzing energy like freshly-uncorked champagne.

You always make fun of me for oversleeping. This morning, I got up at about 6am. No idea why. I just got up bright and early. I opened my window up, and the morning lay lightly on the canyons. The birds chirped merrily enough, and the canyons smelled of fresh beginnings like dew on the grass.

What I like about the mornings is it's lack of apology. It sweeps over you and restarts you without asking you to save your work. It's time for a new day when the sun says it is, and that's final. All you can do is let your eyes adjust and smell the morning's story. The air's crisp and all I can smell is a bright, new world.

Hey, don't forget: we're gonna show 'em that the world isn't so serious.

As you're staring into your laptop reading this, you can feel a pair of warm, familiar arms wrap around your waist and draw you close. You look over and you see me smiling, and you can see somewhere in my face that I know exactly what's wrong. I lean in and give you a light kiss on the cheek, and you can feel all the anxiety slipping away from you like running water, like you couldn't hold onto it all if you wanted to, because you know you're loved and you know you always will be.

I'm glad I took today off. because i'm too hurt to function.

Hey there, partner.

I'm sorry I talked to you so diplomatically. It was the sort of thing I played out in my head a billion times to get it just right, and I was never an actor. Just an improvisor. The exact opposite. Diplomacy is how it's been working around my house lately, trying to fix the gaping holes.

I just had a great talk with my dad, and, although there are still some bits and corners to patch up over the weeks, months and years to come with them, I can say that the gashes have been mended, and that my parents and I are ready to be a family again, and we can work on getting what we all want now. He told me that he loves me, and I told that him I love him, too. It was a big step for us both, and I feel good about that.

I can never really describe to you what it was like pacing around nervously for five, six hours, trying to tell you what I wanted to say. When I discovered us on the same page I couldn't help but let the emotions bubble up inside even though there was so much to do with my family.

I feel good about us now. Not because I'm positive that it's going to work romantically like this but because I know we're going to be honest if we feel like one of us needs someone we can see, and because I know, more than anything else in this world, that I'll always be a part of your life, and that I'll always be here to be your best friend and to help you grow. Lovers or not.

I've started every paragraph in this post with "I."

You're a wonderful kid, through and through. We're so different, you and I, but we're so compatible. And the fact of the matter is, I love you more than I could ever tell you.

You'll read the letter I gave you when you get home. I hope you know that I meant every word of what I said in it, and I always will. I need you to know that, no matter what you and I decide to do, I'm gonna think you're stellar, and I have been and will be willing to do just about anything (short of something that hurts you) to make sure that I stay in your life and that you stay in mine, whether we're romantic or just a couple of shooting-star best friends for the world to look up at.

Snorgles galore,
Nick

Hold on tight, and let me work with you. I'm holding onto you with everything I have, and you won't lose me unless you make yourself. I can't tell you enough: we can get through this if we work as a team.